The "Atomic Age" of Time Standards

Scientists had long realized that atoms (and molecules) have resonances; each chemical element and compound absorbs and emits electromagnetic radiation at its own characteristic frequencies. These resonances are inherently stable over time and space. An atom of hydrogen or cesium here today is (so far as we know) exactly like one a million years ago or in another galaxy. Thus atoms constitute a potential "pendulum" with a reproducible rate that can form the basis for more accurate clocks.

In 1949, NIST built the first atomic clock, which was based on ammonia. However, its performance wasn't much better than the existing standards, and attention shifted almost immediately to more promising atomic-beam devices based on cesium. The first practical cesium atomic frequency standard was built at the National Physical Laboratory in England in 1955, and in collaboration with the U.S. Naval Observatory (USNO), the frequency of the cesium reference was established or measured relative to astronomical time.

The cesium atom's natural frequency was formally recognized as the new international unit of time in 1967: the second was defined as exactly 9,192,631,770 oscillations or cycles of the cesium atom's resonant frequency, replacing the old second that was defined in terms of the Earth's motions. The second quickly became the physical quantity most accurately measured by scientists.

Leap Seconds

The rotation of the Earth is slowing down. This means that a solar day (the time it takes Earth to make one complete revolution) and the time shown by atomic clocks would gradually diverge. This problem has been solved by adding "leap seconds". There have been 22 leap seconds since 1972. The last one was added on 31 December 2005, which delayed New Year's Day by one second!

28. Jokes

TEACHER: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
PUPIL: I don't know. I'm not dead yet.

27. Jokes

Below, are examples of sixth grade research projects. Enjoy...
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven porcupines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.
7. Julius Caesar extinquished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out Tee hee, Brutus.
8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

The Universe in a Year

The American astronomer Carl Sagan(1934-96) first suggested a "cosmic calendar" as a way of helping people understand the history of the Universe. He put everything into a scale of calander year: the galaxies are formed over nine months and the Earth appears in September. All human history is croweded into the last five minutes of the last day of the year. Recent time has to be divded into seconds and fraction of seconds. So everything that happened over the last 475 years takes place in less than the last second of the last minute of the year.

Date/Time	Month	Event
1(Midnight)	Jan	Big Bang-Universe forms
15	Mar	First tars and galaxies forms
1	May	Milky Way galaxy forms
8	Sep	Sun forms
9	Sep	Solad System Forms
12	Sep	Earth Forms
13	Sep	Moon Forms
20	Sep	Earth's Atmosphere forms
1	Oct	Earlist known life on Earth
7	Oct	Earlist known fossils
18	Dec	First many celled life forms
19	Dec	First Fish
21	Dec	First land plants; first insects
23	Dec	First Reptiles
24	Dec	First dinosaurs
26	Dec	First Mammals
27	Dec	First Birds
28	Dec	First Flowering Plants
28	Dec	Dinosaus extinct
31 (11.55 p.m)	Dec	Modern Human appears

26. Jokes

Three men having tea in a restaurant, got to talking about books.
"Books have a great influence on us," said one of them. "When my wife was expecting, she read Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, and do you know what happened? She delivered twins!"
"When my wife was expecting, she read The Three Musketeers," said the second man, "and she delivered triplets.
The third man fainted. When they revived him, he blurted, "My wife is expecting, and she is reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves."

Teotihuacan - The City of the Gods

Teotihuacan means 'The City of the Gods", or "Where Men Become Gods"(in Nahuatl). It is located in the valley of the same name 30Teotihuacan used to be a thriving city and ceremonial center that predated the Aztecs by several centuries. Most likely it was Mexico's biggest ancient city at its peak and the sixth largest city in the world in AD 600.
Teotihuacan began declining sharply around 650 AD, and was almost completely abandoned around 750 AD. No one knows why?

At its peak around 500-600 A.D., Teotihuacan contained perhaps 200,000 people. It was a well planned city covering nearly eight square miles and larger and more advanced than any European city of the time. Its civilization was contemporary with that of ancient Rome , and lasted longer - more than 500 years.

Though archaeologists have long been fascinated with the site, Teotihuacan's culture and history are still largely mysterious. The civilization left massive ruins, but no trace has yet been found of a writing system and very little is known for sure about its inhabitants, who were succeeded first by the Toltecs and then by the Aztecs. The Aztecs did not live in the city, but gave the place and its major structures their current names. They considered it the "Place of the Gods" - a place where, they believed, the current world was created

The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these books.It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects. --- Albert Einstein

7. Band of Holes of Pisco Valley

Thousands of man-sized holes are carved into the barren rock near Pisco Valley, Peru on a plain called Cajamarquilla.These strange holes, stretching for a mile over uneven mountain terrain, were here for so long that the local people have no idea who made them, or why. Funny thing is no one really saw the big picture until the area was seen from the air.

Archeologists have speculated they were dug to store grain in. Two problems with this, say the folks thinking out of the box: there were a lot easier ways to create storage containers than the hard work and decades it must have taken to chip out all of these, and it would have made more sense, if these were to store grain, to build several huge chambers.

Perhaps they were used as tombs. But no bones, artifacts, scraps, inscriptions, jewelry...not even a tooth or strand of hair has been found in them. They have no covers to seal them and no sacred history or even myth was passed down to label them as such.

Some sections have holes in rigid and perfect precision; some run in rows that curve up in arches, some staggered lines. They vary in depth to about 6-7 feet deep yet some are merely shallow indents as if not completed - though surrounded by those that are.

To date, no one has a clue why they're here, who made them or what they were.

6. How Kavadi Tradition Began in Palani

Sage Agastya wanted to take two hills—Sivagiri and Sakthigiri—to his abode in the South and commissioned his disciple Idumban to carry them. Idumban bore the hills slung across his shoulders, in the form of a kavadi one on either side. When he was fatigued, he placed the kavadi near Palani to take rest.

At this stage, Subrahmanya or Muruga had been outwitted in a contest for going round the world. Ganapati had won the prized fruit (pomegranate or mango) by simply going round His parents. Long after, this, Subrahmanya came sweating on His peacock to find that the prize had already been given away. In anger, the frustrated child left the divine parents and came down to Tiru Avinankudi at the Adivaram (pronounced Adivâram. It means foot of the Sivagiri Hill).

Siva pacified Him by saying that He (Subrahmanya) Himself was the fruit (pazham) of all wisdom and knowledge; nee —you. Hence the place was called 'Pazham Nee' or Palani. Later, He withdrew to the hill and settled there as a recluse in peace and solitude.

When Idumban resumed his journey, he could not lift the hill. Muruga had made it impossible for Idumban to make it. In the fierce battle that ensued, Idumban was killed but was later on restored to life.

Idumban prayed that:

1.whosoever carried on his shoulders the Kavadi, signifying the two hills and visited the temple on a vow, should be blessed and

2.he should be given the privilege of standing sentinel at the entrance to the hill.

Hence we have the Idumban shrine halfway up the hill where every pilgrim is expected to offer obeisance to Idumban before entering the temple of Dandâyudhapani. Since then, pilgrims to Palani bring their offerings on their shoulders in a kavadi. The custom has spread from Palani to all Muruga shrines worldwide.

5. Story of Valmiki, Author Of Ramayana

Valmiki was the author of one of India’s epic Ramayana. There is an interesting story behind him.There was a young man that could not in any way support his family. He was strong and vigorous, and finally become a highway robber; he attacked persons in the street and robbed them. With that money he supported his father, mother, wife, and children. This went on continually, until one day a great sage called Narada was passing by, and the robber attacked him.

The sage asked him,” Why are you going to robe me? It is great sin to rob human being and kill them. What do you incur all this sin for?”

The robber said,” Why, I want to support my family with this money.”

“Now” said the sage, “do you think that they take a share of your sin also”

“Certainly they do”

“Very good, make me safe by tying me up here, while you home and ask your people whether they will share your sin the same way as they share the money you make.”

Then the man accordingly went to his father and asked,” Father, do you know how I support you?”

He answered,” No, I do not “

“I am a robber and I kill persons and robe them” “What! You do that my son? Get away! You outcast!”

Then he went to his mother and asked her,” Mother, do you know how I support you?”

“No “she replied

“Through robbery and murder.”

“How horrible it is!” She cried

“But, do you part take in my sin?” asked son

“Why should I? I never committed a robbery.” Answered the mother

Then he went to his wife and questioned her, “ Do you how I maintain you all?”

“No “she replied

“Why, I am a highwayman, and for years have been robbing people; that is how I support and maintain you all. And what I now want to know is, whether you are ready to share in my sin.

“By no means. You are my husband and it is your duty to support me”The eyes of the robber were opened.

“That is the way of the world –even my nearest relatives, for whom I have been robbing, will not share in my destiny.”

He came back to the place where he had bound the sages, unfastened his bonds, fell at his feet, recounted everything and said “Save me! What can I do?”

The sage said, “Give up your present course of life .You see that none of your family really loves you, so give all these delusions. They will share your prosperity; but the moment you have nothing, they will desert you. There is none who will share in your evil, but they will all share in your good”

Then the sage taught him how to worship. And this man left everything and went into a forest. There he went on praying and meditating until he forgets himself so entirely that the ants came and built ant-hills around him and he was quite unconscious about it.

After many years had passed, a voice came saying, “Arise, O sage!”

Thus aroused he exclaimed,” Sage, I am a robber!”

“No more robbers,” answered the voice, “a purified man, and your old names gone. Your meditation is so deep and great that you didn’t remark the ant-hills which surrounded you, hence your name will be Valmiki-he that was born in the ant-hill.” So he came a sage.And this is how he becomes the poet.

One day he was going to bath in holy Ganga, he saw a pair of doves wheeling round and round and kissing each other. The sage looked up and was pleased at the sight, but is seconds an arrow whisked past him and kills the male dove. As the dove fell down on the ground, the female dove went on whirling round and round the dead body of its companion.In a moment the sage the poet become miserable and looking round and, he saw the hunter.

”Thou art a wretch,” he cried, “without the smallest mercy! Thy slaying hand would not even stop for love!”“What is this? What I am saying?”The poet thought himself,” I have never spoken in this sort of way before.”And then a voice came: “Be not afraid. This is Poetry that is coming out of your mouth. Write the life of Rama for the benefit of the world.” And it was after that he wrote the beautiful Ramayana, The Life of Rama.

4. Son Exchange his Youth for Father's Old Age

Sukracharya was the preceptor of Asuras (demons). The Asura king Vrishaparva greatly respected Sukracharya as he knew the secret of Mritasanjibani, a drug that brings the dead back to life. Devayani was Sukracharya's only daughter and spoiled by her father's indulgence.

One morning, Sharmishtha, the Asura princess, daughter of Vrishaparva, came to Sukracharya's hermitage with her friends. She asked Sukracharya to allow Devayani to accompany them for a bath in a nearby lake. Sukracharya agreed. They soon reached the lake and left their clothes on the bank to go into the water. Suddenly a storm blew up and scattered their clothes. The girls hurriedly came out of the lake and got dressed.

It so happened that the princess Sharmishtha, by mistake, clad herself in Devayani's clothes. Angered by this, Devayani insulted Sharmishtha, the Asura princess. Argument began and Sharmishtha pushed Devayani into a dry well and left Devayani in the well.

It so happened that Yayati, the king of a nearby state, came hunting in the forest and was looking for water to drink. When he came near the well he was surprised to find Devayani lying at the bottom. Devayani introduced herself and said that she fell into the well. She then requested the king to pull her out. Yayati helped her out.Devayani demanded that Yayati marry her as he has held her by the right hand. Yayati was alarmed and turned down her request on the ground that he belonged to lower Khatriya (or warrior) caste, and Devayani was a Brahmin (priestly) maid. Yayati then left and Devayani continued to sit under a tree.

When she did not return, Sukracharya set out in search of her. He found Devayani under a tree, her eyes filled with tears of anger and grief. When Sukracharya inquired, Devayani told her father every thing, carefully hiding her own faults. She refused to return to the kingdom of Vrishaparva as she was badly insulted by the Asura princess, Sharmishtha.

Failing to change her mind, Sukracharya returned to Vrishaparva and announced that he was leaving the Asura kingdom because of his daughter Devayani's unhappy conflict with princess Sharmishtha. Vrishaparva begged Sukracharya to stay. Sukracharya left the decision with his daughter Devayani.Vrishaparva wasted no time and went to Devayani taking his daughter Sharmishtha along. He begged forgiveness for his daughter.Devayani agreed to return on one condition that Sharmishtha be her handmaiden for the rest of her life. Sharmishtha agreed for the sake of her father, the king.

Devayani was pacified and returned to her father's hermitage. But Devayani was vindictive and humiliated Sharmishtha by asking to massage her legs and run errands.One day, king Yayati passed that way. Devayani introduced Sharmishtha as her maid and reminded Yayati that he should marry her. Yayati repeated that he could not marry a Brahmin maid. Devayani then took Yayati to her father. Sukrachaya gave his blessing on their marriage. They were soon married and led a happy life.

Devayani had two sons.Sharmishtha continued to stay as Devayani's handmaid. Yayati made a palace for Shramishtha at the request of Devayani. One day Sharmishtha secretly met Yayati and told him what happened between her and Devayani. Yayati was sympathetic. Sharmishtha begged Yayati to take her as the second wife. Yayati agreed and married her but without the knowledge of Devayani. Sharmishtha had three sons.

One day, Devayani met the three sons of Sharmishtha. She asked the boys the name of their father. They pointed to Yayati. Devayani was shocked. She felt deceived and ran to her father's hermitage. Sukracharya was enraged and cursed Yayati with premature old age. Yayati begged for forgiveness.

Sukracharya and Devayani felt sorry for him.Sukracharya then said,

"I cannot take back my curse, but if any of your sons is ready to exchange his youth for your old age, you will be young again as long as you wish."

Yayati, now an old man, quickly returned to his kingdom and called for his eldest son.

"My dutiful son, take my old age and give me your youth, at least for a while, until I am ready to embrace my old age."

The eldest son turned down his father's request and so also the next three older brothers. Then came the youngest, Puru. He agreed and immediately turned old. Yayati rushed out as a young man to enjoy his life.

After years spent in vain effort to quench his desires by indulgence, Yayati finally came into senses.He returned to Puru and said,

"Dear son, sensual desire is never quenched by indulgence any more than fire is extinguished by pouring oil on it. Take back your youth and rule the kingdom wisely and well."

Yayati then returned to the forest and spent the rest of his days in austerities, meditating upon Brahman, the ultimate reality. In due course, he attained heaven.

10. Treatments in Ayurveda

Pizhichil :-
It is one among the rare and special treatments of Kerala. In this treatment, lukewarm herbal oils are applied all over the body by two to four trained therapists in a special rhythmic way continuously for about 60 to 90 minutes per day for a period of 7 to 21 days. This treatment is done in a special table made from a single piece ofStrychnos Nuxvomica wood. This treatment is very useful for Rheumatic diseases like arthritis, paralysis, hemiplegia, paralysis – agitanus, sexual weakness, nervous weakness and nervous disorders etc.

Njavarakizhi :–
It is a type of sudation process in which the whole body or any specific part there of is made to perspire by the application of certain medicinal puddings externally in the form of boluses tied up in muslin bag. Two to four masseurs apply this for about 60 to 90 minutes per day for a period of 14 days. This treatment is for all types of rheumatism, pain in the joints, emaciation of limbs, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and certain kind of skin diseases.

Sirodhara :–
Sira – means Head and Dhara means the continuous flow of a liquid. In this process some herbal oils, medicated milk, medicated butter milk etc, are poured on the forehead in a special method of about 40 minutes in a day for a period of 7 to 21 days. This treatment is mainly for insomnia, loss of memory, headaches, mental tention and certain skin diseases.

Vasthi :–
Otherwise known as Medicated Enema. Vasthi is a Therapeutic procedure in which certain herbal oils, herbal extracts, etc are applied through the rectum daily for a period of 5 to 25 days. This treatment is effective for arthritis, paralysis, hemiplegia, numbness, gastric complaints, rheumatism and chronic constipation.

Sirovasthi :–
Certain lukewarm herbal oils are poured into a cap fitted on the head and held for 15 to 60 minutes per day according to the patient’s conditions for a period of 07 days. This treatment is highly effective for facial paralysis, dryness of nostrils, mouth and throat, severe headaches and other diseases of the head.

Udvarthanam :–
This treatment is otherwise known as Powder Massage. This is found very effective in the obesity, hemiplegia, paralysis, skin diseases, impaired circulation etc and similar diseases. In this procedure 2 therapists apply certain special Herbal Powders in a peculiar way on the body for about 30 to 40 minutes daily for a period of 14 to 28 days.

Abhyangam :–
This is a special type of oil massage in which strokes arte given according to the circulatory channels for 45 minutes per day for 14 days. This treatment is very useful for obesity, loss of skin luster, sleeplessness and fatigue.

Nasyam :–
Being one among the Panchakarma procedures, Nasyam is a treatment in which herbal juices, medicated oils etc, are applied through nose for 7 to 14 days. This treatment is highly effective for certain kinds of headaches, paralysis mental disorders, some types of skin diseases etc.

Kizhi :–
Herbal leaves or powders are made in boluses and are applied on the whole body or a part specified after dipping it in warm medicated oils. This is done for 45 minutes daily for a period of 07 to 14 days. This is very effective for osteo arthritis, spondylosis, sports injuries etc.

Sandhi Vatha Chikilsa :–
Unlike the modern medicine Ayurveda has very effective cures for Arthritic conditions like rheumatoid arthritis, gout, osteo arthritis, ankylosing spondylosis, cervical spondylosis, osteo porosis etc. This programme includes massage, lepanam, and oil application on affected parts, kizhi, steam bath, snehavasthy, kakshaya vasthy, pizhichil, njavarakizhi, snehapanam and internal medicines.

Snehapanam :-
This word literally means oral intake of medicated oils or ghee preparations. This is done as a therapeutic procedure and also as a preparatory process during the body purification therapy. In this treatement medicated ghee or oils are given internally in proportionally increasing quantity for a period of 08 - 12 days. This treatment is very effective for osteo arthritis, psoriasischronic constipation, haemorrhoids etc,.

Dahanyamla Dhara :-
Warm herbal liquid is poured all over the body in rhythmic way using a special vessel. This is done for 45 minutes to 01 hour daily. this treatment is very effective for hemiplegia, paralysis.

Yoniprakshalanam :-
Herbal oil and decoction are applied through the vaginal root, this treatment is good for gynecological disorders. It is also a purification process for genital organ.

Kativasthi :-
In this process specially prepared warm medicated oil is kept over the lower back with herbal paste boundary. This treatment lasts for 45 minutes to 01 hour and it is good for any type of back pain and spinal disorders.

Urovasthi :-
Like Kativasthi warm medicated oil is kept over the chest for 45 minutes. This is an effective treatment for Asthma, other respiratory problem, heart diseases and muscular chest pain.

Ksheeradhoomam :-
This is a special procedure in which a mixture for medicinal decoction and cows milk is heated and the steam thus liberated is passed to a tube and applied over the affected area or whole body. This is found very effective for facial palsies, speech disorders, ptosis and various nervous disorders.

Thalam :-
Special powder mixed with medicated oil is applied on the top of the head for 20 to 45 minutes. This treatment is helpful for curing ENT problems, insomnia, migraine etc.

Lepanam :-
This is a process in which medicated herbal paste is applied on the affected part, this is useful for various types of inflammatory conditions, skin diseases, arthritis, gout, etc.

Thalapothichil :-
Various medicinal herbs selected according to dosha predominance is made into a paste and applied to the scalp for 30 to 45 minutes. This treatment is good for insomnia, premature, greying and other problems to the hair and scalp.

Swasa Kasa Chikilsa :-
Respiratory diseases like bronchill asthma, prolonged cough, allergic rhinitis, sinusitis etc, can be very effectively treated in Ayurveda. This program includes body massage, urovasti, pizhichil, podikizhi, snehavashti, kashaya vasthy, nasyam and internal Ayurvedic medicines.

Sukhanidra :-

Ayurveda , the knowledge of the life is not only related with the body, but with the mind and soul also, this particular treatment program is very much helpful for conditions like insomnia (lack of sleep), anxiety and it improves immunity and self confidence. This treatment program includes body massages, shirovasthy, ksheeradhara, thailadhara, thalam, thalapothichil and internal Ayurvedic medicines , yoga and meditation.

Psoriasis Treatment Program ( Sidhma Chikilsa) :-
Ayurveda forms very effective treatment for all type of psoriasis and various other skin diseases. This special Ayurvedic treatment program last for 21 to 28 days. This program includes special lepanam, abhyangan, snehapanam, pizhichil, medicated steam bath, shirovasty, exclusievely prepared internal herbal medicines along with yoga meditation because, Ayurveda emphasis that most diseases are psychosomatic.

Surfing on the Slopes of a Volcano

Picture the scene. Perched on the crater’s edge of a super-active volcano, 728 metres (2,388 ft) above sea level. On all sides of the smoking black cinder cone and lava field, a verdant landscape stretches towards the horizon. Then, it’s off, skidding and sliding over loose volcanic rock and ash, the wind and dust in your face as you accelerate down the mountainside, steadying yourself for speeds of over 50 miles (80 kilometres) per hour.

Dreamed up four years ago by the guys at Bigfoot Hostel and Green Pathways Tours in Nicaragua, volcano surfing – sometimes called ash boarding or volcano boarding – seems to have slid off the volcano slope and taken off as the adventure travel community turns its gaze on the latest hot extreme sport.

Volcano surfing has evolved on the slopes of Nicaragua’s Cerro Negra, one of the world’s volatile volcanoes, and Central America’s youngest. Actually more closely resembling snowboarding and its derivative sandboarding than surfing per se, volcano surfing keeps the stress on speed, while adding the thrill of tough falls on rough volcanic surfaces. That and the threat of a possible eruption at any moment. Cerro Negra last exploded as recently as 1999.

As extreme sports go, volcano surfing, like the volcano it was born on, is still a wide-eyed but excitable baby. The ply, metal and formica boards are custom made in the organisers’ workshop, with both stand-up and sit-down models available – the latter offering both a speedier and safer ride. Still, this sport can hurt. The threat of the volcano is ever-present, but the main danger is falling off and getting cut, which explains the use of protective gear like jump suits and goggles.

6. The Nazca lines

The Nazca Lines are enormous drawings on the ground (called geoglyphs) that stretch across the Nazca desert in Southern Peru. They show more than 300 geometric patterns, spirals and animals. The lines are so vast (one extends 65 km) that they can only be seen properly from a height of about 300m.

The lines were first noticed when commercial aeroplanes began to fly over Peru in the 1920s. Most experts agree that they were made by the Nazca Indians who lived in the region between 300 B.C and 800 A.D, but there are many questions yet to be answered about them. For example, why were the pictures made and how are they so precise if their makers had no mean to view them from the sky.

5.Easter Island

Easter Island or Rapa Nui lies in the South Pacific between Chile and Tahiti, and is one of the most isolated islands in the world. By the 16th century, Easter Island had nearly 10,000 inhabitants, who made huge statues known as moai. The 887 moai were carved from the island's volcanic rock and have long, angular faces. Some have eyes made from coral. The average moai was about 4m tall and weighed over 14 tonnes, so they would have been extremely difficult for the islanders to transport. Archaeologists belive that the statues symbolize the spirits of Easter Island's most important inhabitants.

25. Jokes

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home.
" Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? "
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."

24. Jokes

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

23. Jokes

A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said:'I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son.'
'Oh, that's ok,' he said.'
I know it's silly,' she continued, 'but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy.'
The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out 'Goodbye Mother.'
The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled.Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day the man went to pay for his groceries.
'That'll be 105 dollars 35,' said the clerk.
'How come?' inquired the man. 'I've only bought a few things!
''Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her...'

22. Jokes

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thingis what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

21.Jokes

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

20. Jokes

Santa: What do you want to become in your next life?
Banta: A cockroach.
Santa: Why?
Banta: Because my wife only fears from cockroach.!!!

19. Jokes

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead; I'll hold your monkey for you."

18. Jokes

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

17. Jokes

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

16. Jokes

A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news".
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

15. Jokes

An Economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam. Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in.
The professor looked at him and said, 'Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell.'
The guy looked at him and said, 'Professor, do you know who I am!!'The professor replied, 'No, and I don't care if your dad is president...you get a zero on this exam'
The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, 'You mean you have no idea who I am???'
The professor responded, 'No, I've no idea who you think you are.'
With that, the guy said 'Good!', plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other students exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!

14. Jokes

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

1. The Birth of the Burger

The name hamburger is nothing to do with ham, but comes from the German city of Hamburg. A burger was originally called a Hamburg steak. In 1889, the word hamburger first appeared in a restaurant review in the US newspaper Walla Walla Union. It was in a phrase that was itself a mouthfyl:"You are asked if you will have porkchopbeefsteakhamandegghamburgersteakorliverandbacon".

4. The Bermuda Triangle

The Bermuda Triangle is an area of the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of florida. It is famous for being the supposed sites of many unexplained disappearence. The three points of the triangle are Miami, Bermuda and San Juan in Puerto Rico. In the 15th century, Christopher Columbus claimed to have seen a 'great flame of fire' falling into the ocean in the area.

The Mystery of the Bermuda Triangle first began to attract attention in 1945., when Flight 19, a training mission of five US bombers, vanished off the Florida coast. The plane that was sent to find them also disappeared, and around 100 boats and aircraft have also been lost there. Explanations include magnetic fields, sea monsters, and abduction by aliens, but most experts agree the disappearences caused by bad navigation and extreme weather conditions.

3. Stonehenge

Stonehenge is a circle of 17 upright stones called sarsens which stand on Saisbury Plain in southwest England. The stones weigh up to 50 tonnes and have other stones, called lintels, laid across the top. There is also an inner circle of smaller bluestones weighing up to four tonnes each. Stonehenge is the only stone circle in the world with lintels across the top of the stones, and experts think it was completed in about 1500 B.C.

They belive that the sarsen stones were transported from 32 k.m away and the bluestones came from an incredible 250 km away. At least 600 men would have been needed to move each sarsen stone on some of the steepest parts of the journey. Nobody knows exactly why Stonehenge was built, but it may have been druids temple or even a kind a astronomical calendar.

2. Crop Circles

Crop circles are complicated geometric patterns, usually in wheat fields. Some people belive that the patterns are left by the imprint of an extra-terrestrial craft, or that they are a message from extra terrestrials themselves. Another theory is that natural forces such as tornadoes, heat or strong winds create the patterns by flattering the crops, but the regular shapes of most crop circles makes this unlikely.

The most likely explanation is that the circles are made by people as a hoax. They gradually build up a design by flattering the wheat, using very basic equipment such as rope and planks of wood.

9. Healthy Habits and DNA

Healthy habits can actually repair your DNA, say researchers Drs Dean Ornish and Elizabeth Blackburn. Their study subjects ate vegetarian whole foods with 10% of calories from fat, walked 30 minutes six days a week, used stress deducing techinques, and went to a weekly support group.

The result? Besides a decrease in LDL cholesterol and stress levels, they showed a 29% rise in telemerase. This enzyme repairs and lengthens tiny protein complexes on the ends of chromosomes that are vital for immunity and longevity.

Short telomeres and low levels of telomerase signal in increased risk of heart disease and cancer, plus a poor prognosis if you do get ill.

8. Simple Habits Pay Off

Sticking to four healthy habits regularly will help you live longer, according to Harvard researchers. Middle aged women who ate right, exercised, stayed at a healthy weight, and never smoked had a 71% lower risk of premature death than those who had none of the healthy habits.

The healthy women also reduced their risk of cancer death by 95% and fatal heart disease by 87%. Those who smoked one to 14 cigrettes a day had a 94% higher risk of early death

But as obesity becomes much more common than smoking, this may change

7. Move More, Cut Cancer

An active lifestyle may help prevent cancer- especially in women, say Japanese ressearchers. Tracking almost 80,000 people, they looked at energy expanded during standing, walking, sitting, and working out. The most active men were 13% less likely to get cancer than the least active men; for women, the gap was 16%. Even small increases in activity improved the odds of staving off the disease.

6. Migrain and Risk of Stroke

Reseach shows that women who have migraines accompanied by their distinctive 'aura' symptoms are at greater risk of having a stroke than those who don't get migraines.

Why the link: Migraine headache are caused by inflamation of the areteries surrounding the brain. Other arteries inside the brain may spasm during an attack as well, temporaily cutting off circulation, thus increasing the odds of a stroke.

Additional risks: Abnormalities in the lining of arteries may also allow blood to clot more rapidly. And in rare cases , arteries leading to the brain may tear more easily. These tears can cause vessels to narrow and clots to form. Extra oestrogen from oral contraceptives (especially in smokers) or hormone therapy can further boost clotting factors to create a perfect storm for a stroke.

How to reduce the risk: Ask your doctor about taking low-dose aspirin. It has been shown to decrease stroke risk in women over 45 and may prevent migraines. Your doctor can also help you reduce the risks associated with abnormal arteries. Maintaining healthy blood pressure in one way, but also ask your physician to order a routine blood test to determine whether you have markers for increased clotting.

If you do, discuss aspirin therapy, anticlotting medications, or alternatives to hormone therapy.

13. Jokes

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off:
"Doctor, take a look at me.When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face!What's WRONG with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says:
"Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight...."

12. Jokes

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

11. Jokes

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.Speaking about a specific condition, she asked,
"How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

10. Jokes

Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked,
"What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor said, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it Tim?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth, and then replied, "That's because he's still inside your stupid cat."

9. Jokes

A man on phone: "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
The man: No this is her husband speaking............

5. Sugar Coated Myths

All sugar and sugar products should be elliminted from diet to lose weight.

Many teenagers, especially girls, belive this to be gospel truth. Weight gain is caused by taking in more calories than our body burns for fuel. Faulty food habits make you fat, not sugar.

In 2002, a three year study conducted by the National Academy of Sciences concluded, "There is no clear and consistent association between increased intakes of added sugars and BMI" BMI(Body Mass Index) is an indicator of body weight and obesity.

The American Diabetes Association advises diabetics that sugar may be included in their diets provided it's counted as part of their daily carbohydrate allowance.

4. The Health Myths and the Truths Behind It.

There are countless health myths believed for generation. And now, scientists have debunked the biggest health myths that have existed untill now, reports The Mirror. The Myths and truths are:

1. Myth: Eating carbs makes you fat.

Truth: According to the Food Standards Agency, starchy foods only become fattening when actual fat, such as cream or margrine, is added. Carbs contain less than half the calories of fat and tend to be more filling, making you less likely to overeat.

2. Myth:You need to drink eight glasses of water a day.

Truth: Scientists at the university of Pennesylvania found not a single study to back this up. Excessive amount of water can actually be dangerous, even fatal. Most people only need 750ml to 1 litre and can get this from juice, tea, coffee or bear.

3. Myth:The flu jab can give you flu

Truth: The flu jab isn't a live vaccine; so it can't infect you withthe virus. People make this mistke because the jab is usually given in autumn, the peak time for cold virusess. If they go on to get a minor cold they misinterpret it as flu.

4. Myth:I am fat because i have slow metabolism.

Truth: A recent study by the university of Chicago recealed that fat people have faster metabolisms and burn off more calories as energy than slimmer people.

5. Myth: Pregnant women should eat for two

Truth: Two out of five women admit to believing this myth, according to SMA Nutrition. But they only need an extra 200 calories a day- equal to two slices of bread- and even then, only in the last three months.

6. Myth: Vitamins make you live longer

Truth: Popping 'antioxident' vitamins such C, A and E won't extend your life, concluded on study last year. They may even lead to a premature death.

7. Myth: Chocolate gives you spots.

Truth: Acne is caused by the effects of hormones on sebaceous oil glands in the skin. This is why it particularly affect teenagers and can also be increased by stress. So chocolate won't make a difference.

3. Discounted Drinks

Discounts are promoting the sale of unhealthy drinks that are rich in fat and sugar, a study has found. Researchers in New Zealand's University of Otago looked at about 1500 discounts over a month in four supermarkets across Wellington. They found only 15% of all the non-alcoholic drinks discounted were classed as 'healthy'.

Beverages classed as 'healthy' in the study were water, plain reduced-fat milk and plain reduced-fat soy drinks. In the 'unhealthy' group were sweetened carbonated beverages, sport beverages and flavoured waters and cordial.

2.Green Tea for Stroke

Drinking a cup of green tea once a week can significantly cut down the risk of stroke, a new study by Curtin University(CUT).

Researchers looked at the amount of tea leaf consumed, how long the patients who had suffered a stroke had been drinking green tea and how much they consumed per day. A significant decrease in ischemic stroke( when an artery to the brain is blocked) risk was observed for those drank at least one cup of tea per week. The risk reduction was largest for those who drank one to two cups of green tea per daily.

Mystery and Conspiracy

We can so many mysteries and secrets worldwide.Many people believe that certain well - known historical events have been nanipulated by government or other secret organizations to conceal the truth. Some of better - known beliefs are:

1. Ku Klux Klan
   

1. Ku Klux Klan (KKK) - Americans Invisible Empire

Ku Klux Klan (KKK), informally known as The Klan, is the name of several past and present secret militant organizations in the United States whose avowed purpose was to protect the rights of and further the interests of white Americans. They are best known for engaging in vitriolic rhetoric and committing violent acts to further white supremacy. The first such organizations originated in the Southern states and eventually grew to national scope. Their iconic white costumes consisting of robes, masks, and conical hats, and use of cross burning were designed to intimidate the targets of their hatred and, to this day, strike fear in many African-Americans. The KKK has a record of using terrorism, violence, and lynching to intimidate, murder, and oppress African Americans, Jews and other minorities and to intimidate and oppose Roman Catholics and labor unions.

Six middle-class Confederate veterans from Pulaski, Tennessee, created the original Ku Klux Klan on December 24, 1865, in the immediate aftermath of the American Civil War. They made up the name by combining the Greek kyklos (κυκλος, circle) with clan. Klan members adopted masks and robes that hid their identities and added to the drama of their night rides, their chosen time for attacks. Many of them operated in small towns and rural areas where people otherwise knew each other's faces, and sometimes still recognized the attackers.

The Klan attacked black members of the Loyal Leagues and intimidated southern Republicans and Freedmen's Bureau workers. When they killed black political leaders, they also took heads of families, along with the leaders of churches and community groups, because people had many roles. Agents of the Freedmen's Bureau reported weekly assaults and murders of blacks.

Masked men shot into houses and burned them, sometimes with the occupants still inside. They drove successful black farmers off their land. Generally, it Canby reported that in North and South Carolina, in 18 months ending in June 1867, there were 197 murders and 548 cases of aggravated assault. Klan violence worked to suppress black voting. As the following examples indicate, over 2, 000 persons were killed, wounded and otherwise injured in Louisiana within a few weeks prior to the Presidential election of November 1868.

In February, former Union General and Congressman Benjamin Franklin Butler of Massachusetts introduced the Ku Klux Klan Act to supress klan. Many Members were imprisoned and prosecuted.

The second Klan(1915–1944) rose in response to urbanization and industrialization, massive immigration from eastern and southern Europe, the Great Migration of African Americans to the North, and the migration of African Americans and whites from rural areas to Southern cities. The Klan grew most rapidly in cities which had high growth rates between 1910 and 1930, such as Detroit, Memphis, Dayton, Atlanta, Dallas, and Houston. The film The Birth of a Nation Directed by D. W. Griffith's glorified the original Klan,which give a big leap for it.

The name Ku Klux Klan has since been used by many independent groups opposing the Civil Rights Movement and desegregation, especially in the 1950s and 1960s. During this period, they often forged alliances with Southern police departments, as in Birmingham, Alabama; or with governor's offices, as with George Wallace of Alabama. Several members of KKK-affiliated groups were convicted of manslaughter and murder in the deaths of civil rights workers and children in the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, the assassination of NAACP organizer Medgar Evers, and the murders of three civil rights workers in Mississippi. Today, researchers estimate there may be more than 150 Klan chapters with 5, 000-8, 000 members nationwide. The U.S. government classifies them as hate groups, with operations in separated small local units.

8. Jokes

John was window-shopping, when he heard a man at the parking lot shout aloud,
"Thief, catch the thief!My car! That man is going away with my car!"
John saw a car whizz past him, turn around the corner and vanish. He quickly walked up to the distraught man and said consolingly,
"Don't worry, my dear chap, I have noted the car number."

7. Jokes

Gerge Bidder was one of those people who could solve very hard arithmetic problems at lightning speed.
Once, at the age of 12, while he was being interviewed by journalists, a man who thought he was a fake, shouted, "How many bulls tail are needed to reach the moon?"
He answered quickly, "One, if it's long enough"

6. Jokes

He had spent many years in meditation up in the Himalayas. He had received many visitors from far and wide who had all made many offerings in cash and kind.
Now the time had come. " I must give up all worldly affairs," said the sage. " I wish to retire...... and settle down in Las Vegas."

5. Jokes

Two men visit an Egyptian museum and stare at a mummy.
"Look so many bandages, pukka accident case, I am sure," says one of them.
"Look it says BC 1760," says his friend. "That's the lorry's number.

4. Jokes

"Do I look like a foreigner?" an Indian who went abroad and returned for the first time asked his wife.
"Of course, not" said the wife. "But why do you ask me that?"
"That's what a lady told me in London"

3. Jokes

A well dressed young gentleman, getting down from his brand new BMW goes to a doctor at his clinic and says, "Thank you very much for your treatment doctor. Thank you indeed."

But I can't remember ever treating you," says the doctor. "What were you suffering from?"

"No, you didn't treat me," says the young man, "you treated my bachelor uncle. I am his heir."

2. Jokes

A boy was writing an exam in front of the door.
Someone asked him, why were you writing the exam near the door?
The boy replied, it was an entrance exam.

1. Jokes

An executive visits his chinese friend in hospital. "Chin yu yan, chin yu yan!" says the sick man who then dies. He think, it may be a secret about him. Later the executive is in China on business purpose and learn the meaning of chin yu yan: Get of my oxygen tube.

The A - Z of Unusal Jobs

More than 8700 workers have listed the most unconventional jobs they have ever held in a survey on careerbuilder.com. Top picks are:

Autopsy assistant

Bartender at the Liberace ( US pianist) mansion

Cat nanny

Donkey trainer

Elf at Santa's workshop

FBI fingerprint examiner

Grave digger

Hurricane Hunter

Ice Sculpture carver

Junk mail machine operator

Kitty litter box decorator

Laser tag referee

Magician's assistant

Nuclear electrician on a submarine

Opera singer

Parechute tester

Quality control taster for a chocolate factory

Romance specialist

Scratcher ( scraching backs of patient)

Turkey wrangler

Undercover

Vice decoy

Video game tester

Wallpaper peeler

X-ray technician for zoo animals

Yawn counter at a sleep clinic

Zamboni (ice resurfacer) driver

1. Best Skin Care Ingredients in Summer

In summer season, the skin care shelves in stores are packed with antiaging products and claims. Here are the topical ingredients clinically shown to help diminish the fine lines and wrinkles that appear when collagen fibres break down.

Vitamin A: Often listed as restinol, it penetrates skin to increase collagen production, eventually smoothing lines.

Vitamin C: It can stimulate collagen to help build up your skin and smooth and fade lines. It works best when you apply it at night.

Vitamin E: Look on the label for DL-alpha-topopherol; it blocks the cancer-causing effect of UV light and slows the production of wrinkles. And vitamin E enhances the efficiency of sunscreen, decreasing redness and swelling after sun exposure.

Alpha hydroxy acid (AHA): Used as an exfoliant, it's also listed as glycolic acid. By peeling off the top layer of dead skin, it gives you a more youthful appearence.

Vitamin B3 (niacin): It helps shield skin from toxins and decreaes brown blotches. It helps ease the irritation that can be a side effect of vitamin A creams.

The Kohinoor Diamond-Britain's Pride & India's Lose

The famous Kohinoor diamond was acquired from Golconda, a kingdom between the Krishna and Godavari rivers famous for premium quality diamonds in ancient India.

Kohindoor diamond was a large stone originally weighing 186 carats. Also, has a pleasing yellowish tinge and excelent clarity as well. The stone changed hands in several times, but it was never sold or bought. Historical happenings of conflict, coencion, deceit, plunder, etc percipitated its movements from one place to another.

It went from Golconda to Malwa. From malwa into the hands of Mughals atDelhi. Nadir Shah of Persia plundered it from the Mughals and took it to Iran only to be lost to the Afghan rulers. Renjith Singh of Punjab got it from the afghans as a reward. He in fact, willed it to be surrendered before the Lord Jagannath at Puri, Orissa. But his son Duleep Singh was obliged to hand it over to queen Victoria at the behest of Lodr Dalhousie in the 1850's.

The stone was cut and trimmed to the present size of 106 carats. Queen Victoria, the then British monarch had mounted Kohinoor on her crown. And a belief spread taht the stone did carry a curse. So, it was earmarked as a stone for the crown to be worn by the King's consort only. At present, Queen Elizabeth doesnot have it on her crown; but it is on gorgeous display in the Tower of London as the crown jewell collection.